New Year’s Resolutions

Anne Arberg, EAP Program Manager

Once again it is the beginning of a New Year and our minds are on New Year’s resolutions and how we want to change our lives. The tradition of making resolutions dates back to the year 153 BC. The Roman God Janus was placed at the head of the calendar. Janus, who had two faces, could look both at the past and the future – the perfect place to observe necessary change.

Most of us make some attempts at New Year’s resolutions and most of us fail. Why do we do this year after year. At the beginning of the new year we all want to believe that we will be able to make our lives better in the coming months. We all have bad habits we want to break and new habits we want to cultivate. The problem is not in making the resolution – the problem is in expecting too much of yourself. Past failures should not prevent new attempts, but should offer information about how to change our efforts.

The website www.about.com lists the ten most popular resolutions as the following:

1. Spend more time with family and friends
2. Get regular exercise
3. Lose weight
4. Quit smoking
5. Enjoy life more
6. Quit drinking
7. Get out of debt
8. Learn something new
9. Help others
10. Get organized

All ten of these resolutions are admirable, but taken all together the prospect is somewhat daunting. This is clearly a case of “resolution overload”. Choose the one or two most important issues to deal with first. And don’t set an unrealistic goal to begin.

If you want to get organized, don’t do what many of us do and go home and empty the garage or all the closets with a plan to reorganize. Start with one closet or one shelf at a time. Take bags of stuff to the thrift shop or Goodwill once a month. Not only will you get a tax deduction, but after you have made several trips you will find that you have less stuff which is then easier to organize.

If your goal is to quit smoking – again – don’t assume that on January 5th you can quit “cold turkey”. Instead, plan to cut your cigarette consumption by one cigarette a day for the first week. At the end of the week, try cutting one more cigarette a day for the second week. It may take longer, but slow and steady works just a well and may be easier to handle.

Instead of saying “I want to lose 50 pounds”, start with an realistic, attainable goal of five pounds a month. Give yourself permission to start small and modify your plan as you go. Sometimes you can incorporate parts of other desires into your primary goal. If your primary goal is losing weight, plan to walk on a regular basis with family or with friends who also want to lose weight. You’re getting more exercise and also more socialization.

Don’t start a diet by feeling that you have to deprive yourself and starve off the pounds. Meet with a nutritionist and learn how to make healthy meals for you and your family. Encourage your family to help you cook and to support your goal and you will have found a new way to spend time together.

Regardless of your choice of goals, this is one time when it is better to aim low. Achieving a small goal is more rewarding than failing at a larger one. Frustration with failure is a sure way to disrupt your good intentions. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family to support and encourage your goals.

Once you choose a goal, then create a plan. Look at the steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Write your plan down so you can review it and change it as your go. Always remain open to change. Life throws us curveballs - so be prepared. Change is accomplished over many small increments. Having to change your plan does not mean having to change your goal. This may also be a good time to see a psychologist to establish a support system for change and to discover ways to overcome resistance to change.

Most importantly, have fun along the way. Doing something to improve yourself or your life will make you feel good about yourself. Even if you hit a bump in the road and get off track, celebrate the fact that you’re aware of it and have the power to get back on track. Setting a goal is not a promise which can never be broken – it is a plan for a change that you yourself want to make in your life. Reward yourself when you make progress along the way, and regroup when you fail. Look at your commitment to change with a positive attitude and be proud of your accomplishments.