Enjoying the Holidays more by Reducing Stress

Barbara C. Yelverton, Ph.D.

What can be stressful about the holiday season? It’s a time of special events, music, holiday foods, decorations, gifts, family gatherings, and parties.

The very things that make the holiday special can often result in stress. The stress can come from too many festivities (such as excess food, activities, events, or spending) or from expectations that aren’t met (such as when others don’t do what you would like them to do).

Negative events that can occur at any time of the year are particularly difficult to deal with during the holidays because this is supposed to be a time to be happy. When sad things happen such as divorce, illness, the death of someone important to you, or a tragic event, you may feel that everyone is happy except you, and it can feel quite lonely.

Following are some suggestions for enjoying the holiday season:

1. Decide what makes the holiday meaningful for you, set priorities and make choices in how you celebrate, including amounts and types of food, activities and spending.

The holiday season offers many activities to choose from including parties, foods, drinks, decorating, gift making, buying, wrapping and giving, concerts, special programs, charity drives, visiting friends and relatives, cards, etc. Choose carefully what you would like to do to make the holiday meaningful to you. There may be more choices than you have the energy or resources to do. If you try to do them all, you may feel upset and not enjoy much of it. Determine what you can do without feeling too tired, unhealthy, or stretched financially. Do what is comfortable and enjoyable to you.

2. If you are going through difficulties or changes during the holidays do not isolate yourself. Accept kindness and support from others

Many people enjoy holiday traditions and these traditions provide a rhythm and continuity to life. But life circumstances can cause changes in traditions. This often occurs with a marriage, a move, a death or a divorce. Some people isolate themselves when there is a change in ritual. Withdrawal creates a greater feeling of isolation. Reaching out to others creates more closeness. When there is a change, it is a good time to create new traditions. Trying out a new way when the old way is no longer possible is an excellent way to adapt and feel better.

3. Enjoy traditions, but also be open to change during the holidays.

Planning ahead can be helpful to creating special times during the holiday, but sometimes one person will make a plan based on their expectations and then expect others in their life to follow the plan. When the others don’t follow their spoken (or unspoken) plan, they feel that they did not have a good holiday. Accept that others may have a different idea of what makes a good holiday. If you are flexible in your idea of the perfect holiday and look for a way to integrate or compromise the ideas of others, you will be in a more harmonious and happy environment.

4. Take time to keep up your good health habits

The holidays are often thought of as a time of giving. If you take care of yourself during this busy time of year, you will not only enjoy yourself more, but others will enjoy you more. For many people the best holidays are those spent with relaxed people who are pleased to be where they are.